Finding balance

4:08 AM

It's been more than a month since I've been back from Korea and I say this almost all the time in most of my posts but, time flies. It's recess week again and this is like what, my second last recess week for my entire uni life?

I know I haven't been blogging much personal thoughts here and this space has been flooded with sponsorships and advertorial collaborations. I apologize for negligence of this space I said I'd keep writing for memory keepsake but recently it has ended up so "commercialized". While I pen most daily updates on-the-go on my Dayre, I still find it a lot more meaningful to be penning down thoughts on my actual blog space which is here. 

In about 1.5 semesters time, I am going to graduate (!!!) That's like, 6 more months? It's crazy because looking back I have no idea what I've done throughout my entire university life, but yet at the same time I have done SO MUCH. I have watched myself grow quite a bit, up and out of many things, people, and memories. Coming to Year 4, things just get a lot tougher because you're so much closer to the real world out there, and "suddenly" all these worries that you've temporarily put behind you are all coming back and becoming reality. 

Hi, tuition fee loan. 

It is also sad that at the end of 4 years I can't quite find anyone from my course who could come close to being.. true friends? Everyone is just kinda like hi-bye, or you work with them for group projects but after awhile you just get tired of accommodating to each other, or trying to fit in 'cause... you just want to be yourself. Heck. Let's focus on the better things in life, at least I managed to find some true and real friends in hall which I honestly wasn't expecting :') 

People think it's crazy to stay in hall for all 4 years. Yes I agree, because the amount of money you spend is CRAZY lol but is the lifestyle really as crazy...? I'm not quite sure, not for me at least. I spend most of my time dancing, and I think while people think the time I spend dancing is crazy, I'd say, if I don't dance, I'd really go crazy! Nothing feels so good to be able to have something that you're so passionate about, really. I'm not even sure if I'll continue dancing when I graduate and start working... so that's why I'm gonna dance all I can while I still can afford to now! :)

Study, dancing and working part time. I can't say I've found the right balance because honestly, I struggle to excel academically but I think, at least, I can safely tell myself that these 3.5 years, I've learnt so much and be exposed to so much that I honestly wouldn't trade anything for it. There are so many experiences that I've been exposed to and gained in my university life that my grades can't buy. Even though the past one year has been the toughest, I'm glad I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now :) In the next few months to come before I end my education journey, I'll make sure to make full use of the time I have, to enrich myself as a person, to treasure all true friends and family around me, to dance while I still can, to earn more savings and maybe work really much harder to save my grades lolloll Because as much as I'd love to say "grades doesn't matter",

Look, I haven't found a job. 

Hahaha Welcome to reality. & sorry for the long worded 4am word vomit. Good night!

Oh yes, here's a reminder to myself and to you guys who're reading: Stay away from the people who make you feel inadequate about yourself, or the people who have nothing good to say about you. People will always find fault, but as long as you're comfortable in your own skin, let them say what they want. Because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. 

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