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4:35 AM

Here's to a new start to yet another chapter in life, as well as it being the first post for the new year :) It's coming a little late since it's already the 4th of January.

Btw, I did something incredibly stupid. While auto backing up my photos in my Picasa Web Albums, I accidentally changed the privacy of my blog photos from "limited" to "only me", and then I didn't realise what went wrong till 2 hours later I saw all the photos on my blog with a grey dash and no photos showing LOL In my head I'm like "die liao die liao, hand itchy now thousands of photos gone!!!" Tried to reset the privacy to "Limited" but sadly all the HTML code of the photos have changed so the only way to make photos show on my blog again is to manually replace them ONE BY ONE.

So that was what I was doing on the last day of 2014 and first day of 2015 when I was at home. Really a case of hand itchy. So all the photos that you're seeing now is a result of my hardwork by manually replacing them in every posts!! Of course some posts are still with the grey dash (will settle it when I'm more free) while those that I'm really lazy about have just been reverted back to drafts LOL Afterall that's what I do every year, I "clean" up my blog a little if not you guys can even read my embarrassing posts dating back to 2005 or sorts.

Otherwise, 2014 has generally been a really awesome year though it also held some of the greatest nightmares I've experienced. Turning 21 was really just another number, just another year passed by and no, I didn't have any fanciful party nor celebration even though a little part of me still wished I did do a proper celebration. I'm generally very grateful I saved all the money to be put to greater, better use. Making wise decisions, checked.

A year that really opened many doors of opportunities for me to explore and discover myself -- working as an events talent, blogshop modelling, invitations to events etc All these have been eye-opening experiences for me and my heart is full of gratitude towards my bosses and clients who trusted me and saw the potential in me. I wouldn't have been able to attend the numerous events last year (many which I didn't blog about) nor be able to expose myself to what the outside world is really like without all these opportunities. And of course all these aren't easy, having to be working part time, studying, dancing, etc. But I enjoy what I'm doing a lot and it motivates me even more when I begin to find myself striking what it seems to be a balance. I have thus concluded (once again) I'm someone who works better under stress, like I'm so much more driven when I have my schedule packed from 10am to 2am in the morning than when I have an entire day to just sleep away. Can't be thankful enough and I will continue to give the best that I can deliver this year too, so let's hope this year will be as good, or even better :)

Last year, in 2014, I spent a lot more time with my family too, and I am glad I finally can say I uphold to my yearly resolution of being a good/better daughter? I always enjoy all the freedom and independence I get since young, because most of the time I was on my own taking care of myself as my parents worked. I was never particularly reliant on any of my family members, even until now, if I want to buy gifts for myself, or I want to travel, I work and earn money for it and try my best not to ask for more money from them. But I guess as my parents get older they start becoming more reliant on me, on us, and I am actually comforted by this fact that I am being relied on too. Staying in hall with the worst unhealthy food ever makes me crave for my mum's (overly, extremely) healthy home cooked food and how I really look forward to going home every weekend. Really happy to see my mum recovering and recuperating well after a year of chemotherapy and radiotherapy sessions that she has been through, in fact my entire family's diet has changed to become extremely healthy and clean ever since. I even started eating vegetables (salads) after 21 years of living :O Although 2014 wasn't my healthiest year -- fell sick countless times, had allergic reactions 5 times last year and severe eczema and hives breakouts throughout the year, I am still glad I stayed away from all the injuries I used to get from dancing which means I've learnt to take better care of my body! Thankful for things falling into place in 2014 and I hope my loved ones and myself be blessed with great health this year, there is nothing more important than this. (:

It was also probably the year I traveled the most in my entire life, because I really seldom travel (my family never had the habit nor the luxury to travel) Traveled to Bangkok for the first time ever and lovedddd it for all the shopping, cafes and food; to Taiwan for the 4th time; to KL for the 2nd time. Each trip holds memories really close to me because they're spent with groups of people who has huge significance in my life. With a positive turn to events which saw me being able to most likely be a student for another year, I'm also starting to save up for Summer Program which I am already soooo excited about! Really hope all will turn out well and go as planned! 2015, please be really kind and let things go as planned and wished for xx

Also caught the first concert in my life ever, finally saving up enough to watch the man of my dreams perform Live!!! Haha okay not man of my dreams, just someone whom I really admire for his musical talents and his songs which are just classics... So gonna be saving to watch Jay Chou this year again!

Of course, there were the down times too. Extremely, terribly down and depressing times I'd say. I have never expected myself to land in such a situation where the decision I made eventually went against my own principles. I still hope that it was a right choice, and it will be proven to be a right choice. It was probably and hopefully will be (because I don't wish for another time of what happened) the darkest period and memory in my entire life. I just hope people will treasure second chances and not take it for granted anymore. It's just not fair, but I guess most things in life aren't fair. Some people give in more, some people love more, some people deserve more than what they get. In 2015, I will learn to love myself more and really only be around the people who genuinely love and care for me.

Despite that, 2014 was still a wonderful year and I hope 2015 will be even better because things can only get better!:) Gonna be turning 22 in a month and honestly I have no idea as to what to expect of the year except to hope that everything will go on smoothly, and that the world can be a more loving, peaceful place. It's really heart breaking to read about all the disasters and attacks from all over the world and while I am really thankful to be safe back home, I feel terribly sad for the people who have lost their loved ones. Life is really fragile and we really won't know what will happen next, so be kind and be the best you can be for the people around you. This is something I will definitely keep in mind for the year.

Less negativity, more optimism.
And I will learn how to swim this year!

That's probably the toughest resolution to achieve out of all I've set this year... And thank you to all who've been following this space of mine, be it since my secondary school days, after the JC post went viral, or just somewhere along the way, thank you for taking your time out to read my space, and especially thank you to all who've dropped very encouraging emails to me when you didn't have to. I'll continue to keep this space alive, in fact more alive than it was with my personal experiences and thoughts and don't worry I won't let this space die nor let it be filled with too much commercial stuff. This blog has been with me for a good 10 years (yes it started in 2005! I had one in 2004 but that's not under the same account and god knows where it went already) and I really have feelings for it. Will continue filling in the pages to this virtual journal for as long as I can :)

Have a great year everyone!

Xin Lin

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